Changes

I left Walmart last Sunday. I was only scheduled for 3 more days. I guess the automated system gives you two weeks after you give notice, no matter what date you write, and then you have no more schedule. That's ok, because my neck and shoulder were hurting so much I didn't want to continue. Hubby said, "Why torture yourself, just quit." So I did.

I've had one week to recover and already I can see a difference in my body. I wasn't staying hydrated enough at work. The bathroom was too far away. I was eating wrong. I was stressed. Even though most of my (former) co-workers are really nice people, I was beginning to avoid certain other people. I was turning and walking away from sick people and heading down other isles when I saw people with dogs (I was sick and tired of getting flea bites, though only a few dogs came in with fleas). I refused to smile at old men. I could see them searching for a chance to smile at me. I was tired of it. One young co-worker teases all the women. He's quite the character, but I had enough of his relentless teasing, and one day I flat out told him to stop. After that he avoided me like the plague. I could have complained to management, but I wasn't planning on staying anyway. I got along well with the three department managers in my area, and the stockers. They were all sad to see me go. We always talked, laughed, and helped each other.

I do not regret leaving. I do not regret working there. It was my first retail job. It was hard but interesting. My enthusiasm lasted about 6 months. After that I started counting the time until I could leave. I am considered lucky by most people. My husband has a good job and I have social security. It's enough. I left many people behind who have no other choice in life but to toil at Walmart. Several ladies I know use a cane and are in a great deal of pain, but are in no way able to stop working. One lady is 77 with heart problems and COPD but she can't quit because of debt. Another lady can't quit because her car payment is bigger than her SS check. My complaints pale in comparison. Life is expensive here. Food is expensive, heck, everything is expensive. But it's beautiful here, darn beautiful.

So I had a little stress over leaving, because I was dropping a supplemental income that was trivial, but helpful nonetheless. My husband supported my decision 100%. We are both happier with this arrangement.

My two concerns are getting "soft" from not enough exercise and falling short money-wise. I've been cooking more. Hubby is coming home for lunch since I stopped working, so I spend some time every morning cooking his lunch....just part of my new "job" of staying home. At last I have time to finish unpacking and to fiddle with my plants. We spend most evenings watching movies together on Netflix.

Opposites Attract.
I'm happy here. My husband is restless. I was born in a city but raised in the desert. Aside form my teen years in Hollywood, I detest living in cities (visiting is great). He was born and raised in a city, so even though he loves nature and all the easily accessible nature here, he misses shopping, coffee bars everywhere, stores everywhere. I never knew a man who loves to shop more than most women. He wants to buy me everything. He wants a higher paying job. He wants to move to where he can make more money. I told him I don't care about money.

The thought of moving away from this area brings sharp, conflicted emotions in me. On the one hand I can say, "Yeah, it makes sense to live closer to good doctors and not have to drive 111 miles for an appointment to see a specialist (though I have not needed to do that)." But for me, it ends there. When I sat at the edge of the Smith River and watched crystal clear water sparkle over Serpentine stones, it was like a dream, some fairy tail land. When we walk by the beach, take in the ever abundant fresh air, view the sweeping horizons of blue sky and clouds, my soul soars. When I can open the windows and doors in summer and enjoy the fresh air and NEVER need an air conditioner, I know I am happier here than any place where it is too hot or too cold. The thought of leaving crushes my heart. But yet, I want my husband to be happy. He knows how I feel. He wants me to be happy, too.

I embrace change and new places, as long as I can keep my most cherished things. Sometimes those things can be packed, some are memories and sometimes they are rooted in places. Moving can be a good thing, but cutting ties can hurt. I will always have my daughters, and I wish my older daughter was closer. My husband and I love each other dearly and enjoy our life together. But will I always have the Ocean and the Smith River?